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Monday, April 7, 2014

Say What You Mean

So many times I have heard -- "say what you mean, mean what you say."  Most of the time from the lips of my mother, but she taught me well.
I am going to random babble about this because I always try and say what I mean, and mean what I say, but man... AM I communicating properly?
Have you ever took a few minutes to really reflect on the fact that the words you say, the words you put out THERE (wherever THERE is) you cannot take back? 
They are words and they can either lift up or tear down someone else in an instant.
So why say things to someone on purpose that you KNOW will tear them down?  I guess I don't understand that.
I was at an event yesterday and I cringed.  I know I am not the best mom ever, but I am a great mom.  I listen to my kids and I love them a lot and they know it. With that said, I cannot handle it when a parent SCREAMS at a child and tells them how horrible they are.  Are they horrible or is the action horrible? I mean, my kids can be obnoxious, out of control... and sometimes downright naughty... they are NOT inherently naughty, it is the action that is naughty... so why scream at your child and tell them how horrible they are? And then when you do it in public, that means you are wicked comfortable doing it which is another topic for a different day.
Don't get me wrong.  I have a child who has an autoimmune disorder that destroyed most of her thyroid. SO she doesn't have traditional and normal hormone function, with that comes other "THINGS" that took her  to see 8 different medical specialists.... And to be honest, she can be a total asshole.  BUT, there is a difference... I may say she is 'acting like an asshole' to my friends as a joke because they know she has behavioral challenges but I would never TELL her she is an asshole... or even really believe that she had the power to be asshole-like her whole life.  She just has asshole moments (don't we all?).  She is my miracle baby and she is an amazing child. But she challenges me.
So truly, live on purpose.  Don't just do things on accident, do them with fervent desire to change your world and the world of others around you. 
Think before you say a word, think about the impact it will have on those around you.  Truly to take a moment to live outside yourself.
OH and while you are at it, when you talk to someone... look them in the eye. Engage, and if you truly want to know them, ask for more information about them.  It is OK to show you care a bit.  Try a few times to be vulnerable.... and it is ok to set expectations... with relationships, with your kids, with family.  Setting expectations is key... I think this is what I need to really work on.  Boundaries and expectations... That may be tomorrows blog. lol So be expecting it. HAHAHA

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