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Monday, July 22, 2013

Life: Upside Down and Back Again

So it has been a lot time since I blogged. 

Life has been a roller coaster, I have been twisted around, I hung upside down- suspended in the air, and now I am finally on the descent... you know, the last part of the ride where you are like, "HOLY SHIT... that was some ride, Batman..." but when you get off the ride all you want to do is kiss the ground... and pee.


So this is my kiss the ground moment.

Update: After 2 1/2 years of being with my husband... we are in the process of a divorce.  I am not sure why or how but we are.  He said that I didn't show him I loved him.  This to me is sad, because from what I understand from the examples set forth before me are this:

* Love is caring about someone and genuinely wanting to know how there day is
* Love is being there unconditionally
* Love is loving their children as if they were your own, and being compassionate to their needs
* Love is affection (regardless of the S.E.X. piece.  Love is the affection you give each other... hugs, kisses, snuggles)
* Love is attending events together (helping out with school activities, supporting your spouse in their activities, even if it is something you are not as excited about)
* Love is making a dinner for you because your partner knows that you love a certain food
* Love is cleaning up after everyone without thanks
* Love is patient
* Love is doing anything in your power to make sure your partner is taken care of and happy
* Love is laughing together when you really want to cry
* Love is listening
* Love means going beyond the basics
* Love means listening... truly listening and not just hearing
* Love is compassion
* Love is tenderness
* Love means sacrifice without losing yourself in the process of loving

 Webster's dictionary states love is, "strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties."

So, although I had a hard time for a while dealing with this fact that I didn't show him love, I now know it was a tactic to move me out, and I did show love the way I learned... an unconditional love that goes beyond giving "things" to the other person.  I also learned that some people will not ever be able to love regardless of how hard they try (thanks to DICK therapy--- Err,  Dick is my therapist... lol).  Love is an action.  Love is a learned thing, and it isn't a skill you just have, it is learn it from your parents and those around you. If you didn't see it growing up, you don't know how to give or show love at all.

Over the past few months I have learned how to love myself, and I learned the following....

 WHO I am is good enough. 

I learned more about what "ills" my soon to be ex, and I am moving on... the marriage failed, neither he or I did.

So from this day forward, my blog will still focus on my kids... It will still be a random acts of my brain... lol, but it will be from the cuff.

This is my life---- unscripted.

Make sure to spend your life letting those around you whom you love, know you love them and care about them. Don't let a moment go unnoticed.  For those of you who truly know me and my soul, you know how I feel about you through my actions and not words.

I am kissing the ground... thankful that a ride is over... waiting my turn in line... my turn for the ride of my life.  You know, the one that makes you want to ride it over and over and over again 'til the park closes?  That one. That is what I am waiting for.

I am no longer sad. I am the happiest I have been in a long time. Be Blessed!