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Monday, April 7, 2014

Parents... Be the Adults You Want Your Children To Be!

Oh, what a great day today was. I worked, met a friend for coffee, grabbed my niece... met another friend for lunch... loved on my kids... played at the park, and then an ASSHOLE moment happens.

So I am running... (when I wrote this, I felt like Forrest Gump... "JENNY I AM RUNN-ING") and I am watching Madelynn play on the playground at the school by our house... there are a few high school boys playing basketball and everything is right in my world.

Until...

One boy starts making fun of the other.  They start throwing down words and saying crap like, "YOU BETTER WATCH OUT OR I WILL CUT YOU" to which I think... not on my watch... NOT on my watch. WHY? Because I am cool like that... I feel like I am the neighborhood watch all of a sudden (OH did you see that movie? OMG it was wicked funny)...where was I... yeah....

So, I am pretending to be listening to music but watching and listening to the boys.  The one boy who was being tormented got on his bike and just left.  I was like, BRAVO.  BRAVO. Be strong, and walk away.
 
I kept RUNN-NING JENNY...

Madelynn kept playing... All is right in the world.  The three boys who were left playing basket ball calmed down, and I wanted to have a little talk with the one dude who caused drama, but I am not his mama, and well... what if he did have a knife and decided to cut me? I just ran....

All of a sudden, as I am in "cool down" and helping my Madelynn... this couple come barreling into the play ground YELLING at the boys who are left.  Now it is two of them, not three... and what I assume is a mom starts screaming at them...

WHICH ONE OF YOU THREATENED MY BOY? I am F*CKIN' talking to you??? YOU need to have some respect and F*UCKIN come over here... this is a F*CKIN' play ground with kids.

(ANYONE BESIDES ME SEE WHAT IS WRONG HERE??? OR AM I OUT OF MY MIND??)

NOW, these young men walked over and said yes ma'am.  They were polite to this REDICULOUS mother.  As a mom...I was embarrassed (which you know takes a whole lot).  I walked over to them and was pissed for the two boys left.  I said to the mom, 'Hi.  I was here for the altercation between your son and the other boy, what was his name?" and they boys told me.  I then went onto say that the two boys she was yelling at did not say ANYTHING to her son.

She did not apologize.

I was so upset. So here is what I learned:

1) If you want to be treated with respect, I don't care who you are dealing with... show some respect

2) If you don't know if someone caused an issue, DON'T assume, it just makes an ass out of you. Not me....

3) DO NOT... I mean DO NOT treat someone inferior because of their age or color... I think this pissed me off the most. Here there are two young, polite black men.  They were so kind to Maddy and I-- and it was the OTHER other kid with them that caused the problem... HE was the one who was mean, and guess what... he was white and making fun of your son. Don't EVER assume that someone is in the wrong based on their skin color, hair color, or eye color... if you do, that makes you an asshole in my book.

4) If another child says your child started it by calling names (and in my book this was a serious one, he called the young gentleman who was talking the N word... you NEVER use the N word, I don't care who you are... you will see me cut you, kind of like if you called me the C word... watch out now) -- you need to talk to your child.  And the kid who was basically bullied by this parent's son did NOTHING to retaliate... HE was in the right here! And parents -->This world is diverse and your child needs a wake up call.  Teach them by leading them.


We sit and say how entitled our youth are... yet we are the ones entitling them. AND we need to remember to lead by example.  The parents were WRONG in my eyes.  Sitting there using the F bomb like candy with other kids at the park, talking to two teens who did NOTHING to their son in such a ferocious tone.  WHO DOES THAT? Maybe we need a parent intervention....

So yes, I was pissed and apparently I still am.  I come from a very diverse family.  NO ONE EVER does that kind of stuff around me, I tend to get scrappy.  So what did I do?

I decided to lead by example.  Not for my 4 year old sake, but for those two boys.  I did intervene and I did tell the parents that I was running and that they had the wrong boys.  And I thanked the boys for helping Maddy and I and I told them how much I appreciated how they stayed out of the altercation between the other boys.  I patted them both on the shoulder and told them to keep up the positive stuff in their lives... enjoy their child hood.  To the parents? I did say something to them... I said it was worse having parents yell the F bomb at the playground than what else occurred.  And that my 4 year old now wants to know what the word fuck means.  I brought her over and asked the mom to explain it to her. (I did this with some teenage girls once at a KFC in Sioux City with my friend Shannon and it worked that time, LOL)



AND THAT is how I roll....

I waited and waited... and I finally said, "No? You don't know how to explain it to my 4 year old? Then maybe we shouldn't be saying it on the playground." (in that condescending mommy tone we mommies get)

I winked at the boys, smiled and walked away....

You have to leave a strong, good lasting impression with kids... even if they aren't yours. 

I really hope I see the boys again at the playground on Wednesday when I go do my run. They taught me a valuable mom lesson. To think before I say ANYTHING in front of kids... show them what a strong adult is...

Be a role model....

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