What is a Parent? Put Yourself in Check.

So I haven't blogged in a while, and to be honest that is because the past few weeks have been insane.  Kids were out of school, Maddy was sick and then hospitalized, then off to Thanksgiving with my sister, her hubs, my cousin Ted, his partner Don, and their son, Dantae. So a whirlwind of sorts for the past few weeks.

One thing that has been eating at me is what makes someone a "good" parent? Is it all of the money in the world? Buying new things for your child? Letting them stay up late? Giving into your child when they scream at you in the store? Making your child go with you to an "adult" event? Having the 'guys' over for beers and football? Only bonding with your child when it is convenient for you?  How about not keeping your child on a schedule because you are too chillax' to do stuff like that, just roll with it?

My answer is no.  None of those things make you a good parent.

So before we talk about being a good parent, lets talk about being a parent who needs help first...

And here is the thing, if you are offended by my comments below, maybe you need to check yourself and get right with your child before they grow up and realize that you were too selfish to give anything up for them. Quit being a douche, check yourself... fix your shit, then move on.

I think my husband said it best to Maddy's biological father last night... "when you give birth to a child you automatically get the title of mom or dad... you really don't have to earn it. BUT when you are a step parent, and the child one day calls you mom or dad, it is because you earned it.  Being a parent is NOT something that should be taken lightly. A child should change your life...for the better. I have earned the title DAD with my step kids, not by biology, but by being there and being someone they can rely on--- I earned it and I cherish it."

Maybe when we are the biological parent to a child, we don't have to work as hard to earn that title, but we really should.  Things I know parents do that they shouldn't... now these are not made up, these are real events that have happened and I am relaying it and FINALLY voicing my opinion publicly. IT FEELS GOOD TO PUT THE BITCH HAT ON.

Things a parent shouldn't do...

1) Take your child to a pub for dinner on the weekend at 9 pm at night. So many times I see children in a bar after 9 pm eating dinner while old geezers are getting drunk at the bark and pinching the waitresses asses or commenting about whose tits are bigger. UM, NO. This is not the kind of behavior a child should be privy to.  Let them experience this behavior when it is age appropriate. Don't you force it upon the child because YOU want to be there. Get over it. It is a bar, this is your child. REALLY? WHAT should come first.

2) A parent shouldn't smoke weed or do any drugs. PERIOD. END OF STORY. Let alone around their kids, are you kidding me here? If you are a parent, or an expecting parent, for the love of all things holy put the crack pipe down and care about someone else besides yourself for a minute.  Do you REALLY think the worlds problems are solved when you are high? Great act of responsibility, genius.

3) Wait, what about keeping your toddler up until one in the morning because you don't like to get up in the morning and take care of him. GROW THE HELL UP. Get that baby to bed at a descent time and go to bed yourself.  Feed your child, take care of your child, get up and do the dishes if they are dirty. I don't care how old you are, if you made the decision to have the S-E-X and you were irresponsible enough not to "wrap the sausage" then you have to now grow up.  Put your child's needs first. It is that frikkin' easy. Your life is now on the back burner.  Your child comes first. Do you even understand that you are to SACRIFICE your own needs for your child?

4) Don't eat before your child. Really? I had a "friend" feed herself first and leave her toddler screaming because she was hungry too.  Come on bitch, your child cannot even feed herself yet, YOU have to do it for her. What part of common sense are you missing?

5) Hey, it is so cool that you are on public assistance and you have an iPhone and a new car, and then trade your food stamps for beer and your kid is eating ramen noodles. WTF? Really? I shouldn't even have to go into this in more detail.  One word explains it well "LOSER."

6) A parent shouldn't spend more time in a bar than with her kids. Come on, everyone wants to get out and "let their hair down" but really? Every weekend your drunk? That is really showing responsibility.

7) As a single mother, you introduce your children to every man you date when they get up in the morning.  Like that is healthy... "Hi honey this is (what was your name again?)... I guess I got the whole dating thing wrong. I wouldn't introduce my kids to just anyone. SMH.

8) Taking your child's child support for botox. (enough said)

The list goes on and on...

What makes a good parent?

It's easy.

Be there for your child. 

Tell them you love them, and show it.

Put them first, even before yourself.

Get on a schedule.

Make your child accountable.

Lead by example.


Think about your actions.  Do you really want to bring your child down or lift them up? I want my kids to be better than I am. I want them to attain more that what I have. I want to lead by example. That means I will go to Cub Scouts with my smiley face on. I personally cannot stand how disorganized it can be, but my son loves it. AND I can learn from it as well... a skill called patience.

This man in the picture is a fantastic parent.  He honestly spends every day of his life leading by example.  He is the daddy to my children.  He is an amazing parent.

XOXO

Recipe Time: Breakfast Croissant Roll

So, I have found a new love at the grocery store...and no, it is not the 16 year old who takes my cart out to my car, and loads my groceries into the trunk for free (LOVE FAIRWAY)... it is actually the Pillsbury Croissant Sheet. 

I have always been a lover of croissants...their flaky goodness, all buttery and sweet.  However, when I happened to see the croissant sheet I about fell over and had to buy a few to try.

So-- my latest "foodie" experiment...

Breakfast Croissant Roll

Ingredients:
1 Pillsbury Croissant Sheet
6 eggs
1/4 cup milk (or heavy whipping cream, YUMMO)
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
4 slices of ham
4-6 slices of cheese (I used mozzarella and American)


Directions:
Preheat oven to 375

Whisk eggs, milk, salt, garlic powder, and pepper.  Add mixture into a lightly buttered or sprayed pan (I used pam).  Scramble eggs.

While eggs are cooking spread out croissant sheet on counter.  Place the slices of cheese evenly over the top of the sheet, followed by the ham.  Once the eggs are scrambled, add scrambled eggs to the top, covering the ham.

Roll croissant (I did it lengthwise so it was longer, and not as thick) up and seal edges, I placed the open edge on the bottom of a greased baking sheet.  Bake for 15 to 20 minutes until golden brown.  Let cool for 3-5 minutes and slice....

We really loved this! It was a perfect breakfast food... EGGY, CHEESY, and SWEET.  Gotta love the sweetness from the croissant!

Happy Saturday!

Recipe Time: Italian Meatloaf!

So, I had these croissant sheets left that I had to use... So, I decided to do an old family favorite, Melissa style.

My dad's favorite food was meatloaf. 

Every week we would have meatloaf and on special days, it would be Italian Meatloaf.  Now, my dad always told me it was his special recipe and I always believed him... that was until my mom finally caved.  She finally told me this year (I am 40) that my dad never made the Italian Meatloaf... she did.  But to see us look at him like he was a genius cook was priceless.

So, this recipe in a way is a tribute to my dad.  I cannot believe that he passed away 10 years ago and my mom still kept his secret.  I know he is smiling down on me now as I type this going, "I got you good on this one, sunshine" and I nod, yes dad... you sure did.

Italian Meatloaf

Ingredients:
1 1/2 lb of ground beef (I used 93% lean)
1 cup of marinara sauce (I used a nice chunky kind)
2 eggs
1 envelope of onion soup mix
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 sleeve of saltine crackers crushed

6 slices of mozzarella cheese
1 croissant sheet by Pillsbury

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350

Combine ground beef, 3/4 cup of marinara sauce, eggs, onion soup mix, garlic powder, Worcestershire sauce and crushed crackers together. Make sure it is mixed up well.  Place in loaf pan and spread remaining marinara sauce on top.

Bake meatloaf in oven for 1 hour.

Remove meatloaf and let cool.

Roll out the croissant sheet a bit and place three slices of mozzarella cheese in the center of the sheet.  Tap out meatloaf on top of cheese and add three slices of mozzarella on the bottom of the meatloaf.  Seal the croissant dough around the meatloaf, flip it over and place it in a larger baking dish (coated with butter or Pam).  cut three slices in the top of the bread.

Bake at 375 for 20-25 minutes.

Serve hot.

Not only is it delicious, but it looks purdy! 

Enjoy!

LAUGH! NOW! Do it!!

You ever have one of those weeks where you feel like you are spinning plates with the left hand, juggling pens with the right hand while walking upstairs with a pie on your head and two kids holding on to your ankles?

 

Just imagine that kind of week (lol, how many of you can totally relate because you have had that week?).

We all have those weeks when the days run together and we don't really have any time to think, let alone plan out a meal or even focus long enough to make it through "The Big Bang Theory" on Thursday night... But how do you chose to unwind?

I mean, this week has been so busy that I forget to eat during the day (wait, I did stop to have a kit-kat mini bar out of my kids Halloween candy)--- but I would finish work, make dinner, play with the kids, get them ready for bed, go to the gym to work out... and then realize that I hadn't eaten myself. So I get home and make something fast. I start eating it... then the next thing  you know, I am falling asleep in the damn chair again... so then I just go to bed so I can start the whole crazy cycle all over again... *DEEP SIGH*

How do you unwind? I think I need to have an unwind moment that is more productive that the one I currently have. By productive I mean a way to unwind that truly takes my mind off of the stressful stuff that surrounds me every day.

I think we need to laugh more... and I don't mean that little "ha-ha" courtesy laugh you do when someone tries to be funny, but they really aren't... a from-the-gut, rip-roaring, can't-stop-yourself-and- tears-are-streaming-down-your-face kind of laugh.
Laughter truly is the best medicine.  Think about it, when was the last time you laughed so hard you could hardly breath... You sat there and almost cried, you pounded your hand on the table, and maybe you even snorted!  Then--- the rest of the night you are smiling, and you casually think back to how hard you were laughing earlier and then you do it, you smile big and you giggle a little.

How many of you have been so depressed that it hurts to laugh? I have been there. I have been at a very low place and I couldn't pull myself out. I couldn't even laugh with my kids at a Disney show.  But did you know that if you just try it, you might like it (like Wheaties)... Maybe MAKE yourself laugh at first to get comfortable with it. Just try it.

Laugh with friends.  Have a night every week on purpose to just do something to laugh and not think about all the "what ifs" that life presents...

Some laugh-o-riffic things you can try:

* Play a game that is silly (like Pass the Pigs, or Twister)
* Have a marshmallow eating contest (Virginia, you gave me this idea tonight. LOL)
* Play a question game (you ask a question and someone else has to answer it, make it funny)
* Look in the mirror with your child and see who can make the silliest faces.
* Make up songs and dance.  (like MOM RAPPERS, LOL)
* Walk a mile in your child's shoes.  Take an hour to play with them and do silly things, you will be surprised at how wonderful it feels to be childlike and carefree for just a moment
* Truly enjoy friends and family.  Be fully engaged....
* Smile more... the more you smile the more your heart will be lighter (which then opens you up to laughter)

Enjoy your friends.  Enjoy your family.  This life is too short not to laugh a little.

I thank Virginia and Char for making me belly laugh tonight and helping me take my mind off of work, medical issues with Maddy, etc... Everyone  should be so blessed to have friends to giggle with.

Maybe Its Just Me....

OK. So I have been on this get healthy kick, and thanks to my friend, Kendra A., I even have been keeping track of the food I eat (app is MyFitnessPal), which is great.  I am feeling great and I look forward to working out. Matter of fact, I just fit back into my size 10 skinny jeans and my muffin top was there, but a bit more "under control". LOL

So, I am working out, feeling better about me personally, but I feel like I am letting a person down in my life.

Have you ever felt like that? Someone that you love and care about and you are trying to do EVERYTHING in the world to make them happy, but they aren't happy and it starts to feel like it is you that is making them unhappy...You know... you start to feel like, YOU are the only person they have an "issue" with.  They are kind and thoughtful to everyone else, but to you, they get asshole like.  Short and snappy as if you can and you will take it.  NOW, because you love this person with your whole being, you take the shortness for a while.  But when it has been going on for two months, and they don't see it... what do you do? Do you keep taking it? Do you try to confront it? Do you find comfort in your own thoughts?  What do you do? What if you are worried about the other person and you have tried to talk to them and they blow you off and instead of confronting the issue at hand, they bury themselves into work, video games, vodka...

I think you have to confront the issue and deal with the consequences... you already know they are going to get upset.  What if they are just in their own depression and feel like they are on an island alone and they don't know how to rescue their own emotions? What if it really isn't you, but they are so sad they don't even see how they are treating you? By talking to them it is the ONLY way to find out the real story, you can only read their mind so much. You don't know what they are truly thinking or where their heart is.

So, what if you didn't talk to them.  What if you let it go to the wayside.  Would you start taking your anger out on someone else? Someone who is an "easier" target because you don't have to "live with them" every day?  You probably would. So why should you carry the other person's anger and give it to someone else.  Don't do that--- so many of us do that and surely it is the fastest way to ruin a friendship (trust me on that one).

I know that in my life, if I am hurt and I don't resolve the issue, I will carry the hurt and let it build and build until it is just boiling in my gut and I explode.  I don't want that.  I want people to like me, even love me. I like to stay busy.  But, when the one person you love with all of your heart doesn't show you love back, it makes you feel less.... less important... vulnerable.

So why feel less than what you truly are? If you are faced with a person like this in your life, confront it.  And trust that your heart will lead you in the right direction.