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Friday, January 3, 2014

New Beginnings for a New Year

Happy 2014, or the third day of 2014... Last year was truly an emotional roller coaster for me, and instead of going over the good, bad and ugly... I have decided to start fresh with this blog.

I am now 42 years old, and I am holding onto things from my past that I need to shed.  Like a pair of sweat pants from 2006 that Jeff gave me for Christmas... the hoodies I got from my ex husband that comforts me. The left over skin that clings to my body reminding me of how heavy I once was. 

I see all of this skin and I sometimes feel like a prisoner in my own body.  The skin is a reminder of the 355 lb me I once was.  And like a felon who keeps going back to prison because it is the only life he knows, I take comfort in my extra layers as it shields me from getting to close to others... it is my prison so to speak.

So, I am shedding crap (thank you Ann for that fantastic word).  I am not making a New Years resolution. I am making a SHED THAT SHIT prediction, or forecast if you will. I am gonna shed that toxicity out of my life. HOLLAH.

42 and a new you--- is my motto (and it rhymes, whoot)...

Here are my 2014 crap shredding goals:

1) I will remove this damn skin.  This will happen on January 10th as I head to the hospital to have a Fleur De Lis Abdominoplasty. (and I may post pictures once I am comfortable with my pre and post self)

2) I will get rid of some of the things I have been physically clinging to from my past that have no room in my future.

3) I will stand up for myself. CRAP, kids... I am a fucking pushover.  I need to stand firm and I guess take some bitch lessons according to my aunt.

4) I will remove toxic people from my life.  I certainly don't need them, and neither do my kids.

5) I will get through the hoarders mess in the kid's playroom once and for all.

6) I will be kinder to myself.  Hells to the yeah, bitches. I am so hard on myself... but I will treat myself better and I will be nicer to me.

7) I will continue to champion my children and support their choices and be there for them.

8)  I will be quieter and more thoughtful when I speak (Man, my boss should read this now, LOL)

9)  I will start running again...

10) I will clean my room. (kids, I have been in this house since June and my bedroom has never been clean)

11) I will learn to love myself again.

12) I will get rid of all of those size 6s that don't fit me anymore and give up hope of fitting in them (plus they are all from 2005 so they are out of style anyway, LOL).

13) I will clean up my "friends" list on Facebook.  Mama don't need no asshole friends on there, KWIM?

14) I will frown less and smile more, and even try to laugh often... an honest laugh... and focus on the positive not the negative....

So my 14 goals for 2014 to shred that shit.  I seriously think I needed this epiphany of sorts to get my life back on the right track! 

Many Blessings to you in this new season!

1 comment:

  1. You go girl. Welcome to our crazy Hodge podge family. Here's to a happy new year!