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Thursday, November 1, 2012

Maybe Its Just Me....

OK. So I have been on this get healthy kick, and thanks to my friend, Kendra A., I even have been keeping track of the food I eat (app is MyFitnessPal), which is great.  I am feeling great and I look forward to working out. Matter of fact, I just fit back into my size 10 skinny jeans and my muffin top was there, but a bit more "under control". LOL

So, I am working out, feeling better about me personally, but I feel like I am letting a person down in my life.

Have you ever felt like that? Someone that you love and care about and you are trying to do EVERYTHING in the world to make them happy, but they aren't happy and it starts to feel like it is you that is making them unhappy...You know... you start to feel like, YOU are the only person they have an "issue" with.  They are kind and thoughtful to everyone else, but to you, they get asshole like.  Short and snappy as if you can and you will take it.  NOW, because you love this person with your whole being, you take the shortness for a while.  But when it has been going on for two months, and they don't see it... what do you do? Do you keep taking it? Do you try to confront it? Do you find comfort in your own thoughts?  What do you do? What if you are worried about the other person and you have tried to talk to them and they blow you off and instead of confronting the issue at hand, they bury themselves into work, video games, vodka...

I think you have to confront the issue and deal with the consequences... you already know they are going to get upset.  What if they are just in their own depression and feel like they are on an island alone and they don't know how to rescue their own emotions? What if it really isn't you, but they are so sad they don't even see how they are treating you? By talking to them it is the ONLY way to find out the real story, you can only read their mind so much. You don't know what they are truly thinking or where their heart is.

So, what if you didn't talk to them.  What if you let it go to the wayside.  Would you start taking your anger out on someone else? Someone who is an "easier" target because you don't have to "live with them" every day?  You probably would. So why should you carry the other person's anger and give it to someone else.  Don't do that--- so many of us do that and surely it is the fastest way to ruin a friendship (trust me on that one).

I know that in my life, if I am hurt and I don't resolve the issue, I will carry the hurt and let it build and build until it is just boiling in my gut and I explode.  I don't want that.  I want people to like me, even love me. I like to stay busy.  But, when the one person you love with all of your heart doesn't show you love back, it makes you feel less.... less important... vulnerable.

So why feel less than what you truly are? If you are faced with a person like this in your life, confront it.  And trust that your heart will lead you in the right direction.

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