So... I have been doing a LOT of thinking over the weekend.
I am a single mom... I raise two fantastic kidlets and they are so happy... they are smart and they know that they are my world. I put everything (besides my faith in God) behind my children's needs. I firmly believe that my job is to raise functioning adults who are not entitled... let it begin now...
I also have a career... so I am a working mom... three full time jobs (mom, cook, cleaner, real life worker, cab driver)--- ERR I have FIVE full time jobs-- and I am not complaining... that would be a waste of good air. I would NEVER complain because there are people out there who would be great parents who cannot have children, and if I were to complain, it would be a slap in the face to them... So why complain about being a parent? Yeah. It sucks from time to time. Yeah, you have to be the "mean mommy" (as my kids call me sometimes) but buck up little camper, you signed up for this... parent = roller coaster. Just saying. SO love it... enjoy it.
OK... so I digressed there a bit on a parent tangent, but it will make sense here in a bit... because I am so "MOM" oriented I don't spend any time looking for quality companionship for me, and you know what? THAT IS OK. WHY?
Here is the truth and man friends, don't be a hater, because if it were YOU I was talking about here, I would mention your name, K?
Men suck at dating.
Even when you are married and comfortable you should still date and WOO your partner. YEP, I used the word WOO from like 1940. BUT COME ON... WOO that lady.
I have been watching a dear friend try to date and man, it really is frustrating.
If you are a man and you are single and you are reading this... here are your steps into finding a woman who is RESPECTABLE. Someone you can CHERRISH...
1) DO NOT SEND A PENIS SELFIE. Just no. Ewww... that is gross and well, consider the audience. This is a LADY... treat her like one. I mean, if you saw a HOT CHICK at the mall, would you walk up to her and say hey girl... how about this? And drop your pants so she could see your PACKAGE? I DON'T THINK SO... just don't do it. EWWWWW...
2) When you are posting a profile on let's say, "Plenty of Fish", describe your crap as if your mother would read it. Don't be like, "Girl, I be the 1 4 u. I can treat you like a queen, mmmm.... just wait until we get to my crib, girl." WHO SAYS THAT IN REAL LIFE WHEN THEY SEE SOMEONE? IF YOU DON'T SAY IT THERE, THEN CRUD... DON'T SAY IT ONLINE WHERE EVERYONE UNDER THE SUN CAN READ THAT....
3) I want a real date. I don't want you to think you can buy me a drink and take me home. That is using a person. Are you that shallow and low to just think most women WANT to be used? Maybe consider that women who are dating have been used so much that having a GENTLEMAN stand out on a date and treat her with respect would get HIM further in that relationship. I know, shocking information right there... treat someone like you value them and wait, they will respect and respond to that. Novel idea.
4) Talking about dates, why can't men PLAN the date like they did in the olden days. Plan it... WOOO, men... WOO. Take her to a nice dinner... take her out for a drink, and then take her home. Don't expect to get into those panties. Be nice. Because when you are 85 and are old sex is the last thing you want from your partner you want a companion. Honestly. I want to sit in my rocker SANS teeth and hold hands. LOL
5) Don't smack my ass, when you first meet me. JUST DON'T unless you want me to grab your penis like a tennis ball in response.
6) A woman is NEVER a man's property. Never, ever mistake that. She is a free thinking human being, and I really don't care if you are dating or married, don't ever forget that.
7) Hey, call her on the phone instead of texting her... out of the blue. Guess what, she will value that more than a horny text any day.
8) How about this men... think about what you are doing before you do it. When you are on a date, consider this... IF MY MOM WERE HERE, WOULD I DO THIS NOW? If the answer is no, then... wait... don't do it. How simple is that?
Ok. As I was saying... I am just a girl and maybe an outside participant in another member of my gender trying to date, and it scares me. Dating today is scary. And women, it's not all the men's fault for the dating spiral downward. We also limit ourselves in dating... I know, evil... I am calling myself, and all other single women out there... OUT....
If you are still reading this and you are a WOMAN... And you want to be respected and cherished while dating... maybe you (like me) should STOP doing somethings....
1) Stop sending nude selfies to someone you have not even physically met. Just don't... it's gross. And please see reasoning to the Men's section under 1). Thanks
2) For the love of all that is HOLY....Stop being needy. You are self sufficient and you don't NEED anyone to complete your life. YOU should be enough for you. Having a "person" is a bonus.
3) If you like a guy, stick with him. And don't try and "date" anyone else. That is just rude.
4) Do NOT... I say DO NOT say I love you too fast. the word LOVE is an action.... and you want to make sure you can follow through with the word. I was told by my therapist (yes... true story) to wait 3 months before you use it. Make sure the person you are saying it to is truly someone you love.
5) Take your blinders off. Just don't do the, "but if he... or I think he will change" because we don't want to CHANGE a person. (I personally hate this... when a woman tries to CHANGE a man or vice versa)
6) Take a chance... be a wee bit vulnerable. Maybe you are too closed off and cold to honestly see someone for what they are worth.
7) Why date the same type of dude every single time. I mean, you keep BREAKING THINGS OFF WITH THEM... look outside your normal.... you might be surprised at what you will find.
8) Say no. If you don't like them after the first date, or you don't like something the other person does... say so. I get stuck in this one... I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I was dating a guy from Illinois for a bit and I just didn't like him. I tried to break up with him (Merissa knows this story, lol) and he was SO NEEDY I took him back and was miserable. This lasted for only a couple weeks but seriously. WHY be miserable in a relationship to make the other person happy? WOMEN... we do this so STOP. (that was more for me)
So ladies we suck at dating too...
We take whatever is there because we are lonely (men do this too) and sometimes we settle because we don't think anything else is out there. So what if there isn't anything else out there. Buck up, buttercup... this life is a blessing... and if you have to walk it alone then do it... In a nice pair of heels... with a glass of wine occasionally... and really good friends. Friends always make the world better. (in picture out listing to a guy with a guitar.. Me with my family and the best friends ever... Ann, Nate, and Becky)
Yep. I can feel it... it definitely IS a Monday.