I am not 20 anymore. I am not even 30. I am OLD.
As most moms I feel like my day just barely starts and then it is over. I feel like I don't get to unwind until 10 pm--- when every last child is in bed, and then I fall asleep while trying to watch something on TV. I wake up at 11:30 to my husband gently nudging me to wake up, and as I wipe the drool off my chin, I slowly shuffle into the bedroom. Last night I was so tired, I fell asleep with my glasses on and it was like mission impossible this morning to find them. I feel like a dirty mommy most of the time (not like the bow-chicka-wow-wow kind of dirty).
I am so tired. Half of the time I feel like I look like a train wreck and it takes so much energy just to find a matching sweat shirt for my sweat pants. Then as I am making dinner my husband comes over and gently pats my tush with a coy smile as I am cooking (with flour everywhere and some goo in my hair from Maddy throwing it there as she is trying to help me cook) and I think.... "HOW could you find THIS sexy at all?" He is always doing different things to show me he is attracted to me, but let's face it. I am not attracted to me. I look at myself in the mirror most days and I shake my head in dismay.
I need to channel my inner sex goddess and bring some sexy back.
So many times I think that as parents (moms and dads), we get so caught up in our every day routine (work, dinner, kids, family, etc) that we forget that we need to channel our inner sexy so WE feel it on the inside.
I mean, it feels so wonderful to know my husband thinks I am beautiful and sexy, but I don't "FEEL" it on the inside as I once did. Now, my husband on the other hand is super sexy and he makes me giggle like a school girl when he tells me that I am sexy or hot. Really. And if he thinks I am sexy, why can't I believe it and internalize it?
How many of you feel the same way?
So, in order to get my sexy back, I have to figure out WHY I feel like I am NOT sexy. AND THEN FIX IT. LOL, easier said than done.
So here is my list of five things that make me feel "NON-sexy" (for lack of better term):
1) Weight. OMGoodness, I have gained at least 20 lbs in the last year after my heart surgery. I HATE carrying this extra weight
2) Frumpy clothes (like sweats, but they are oh, so comfortable!!!)
3) Pony tail every day or disheveled hair
4) Granny panties. I did just type it. I own granny panties and I love them--- but they don't scream sexy.
5) tired, Tired, TIRED!
So, how do I fix these main things so I can feel sexier? Well, I have an idea... Let me see if it works this time... I will admit this, I think there is a direct relationship between self-confidence and feeling sexy. The sexier you feel, the more confident you are and people recognize the confidence. Maybe I am way off, but I don't think so. I mean, think of the last time you went on a date with your significant other. You got dressed up, you wore the Victoria Secret panties you got for free with you card you got in the mail (you know, the ones you have been saving for a special occasion such as this), and you put on make-up, perfume, and you wore heals. Your butt looked good in the mirror. YOU FELT GREAT. You laughed a lot, flirted with your significant other a bit more, and I bet you even showed him a bit more PDA than normal. All because you channeled your inner sex kitten and you were getting your cougar on, GRRR.
How I am going to challenge myself to feel sexier on a daily basis. This is going to be hard, but I am going to try it for a week. If you are in the same NON-SEXY boat with me, take on a challenge for yourself and then in ONE week we should all report back and see how our week went.
Here it goes. FIVE things I am committing to doing to get my sexy back:
1) Work out every other day. I have a membership to Sister's Health Club and I need to use it... Zumba I think!
2) Wear a nice outfit every day (even if just for myself) --- even if I have to, I am going to pick out my outfit the night before when we pick out outfits for the kids.
3) Fix my hair every day, use PRODUCT! :)
4) Pull out my secret reserve of Victoria Secret panties and wear them JUST BECAUSE I own them. Don't save them for a date night. (LOL, that sounds so funny when I type it, but seriously. I need to do this)... BURN THE GRANNY PANTIES!
5) Make sure I get enough sleep, make sure I am taking my vitamins every day (don't skip any) and drink more water... drink less coffee!
I think I can do this! Its like the little engine who could... I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN!!!!
But first, I should probably get out of my pajamas....