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Sunday, March 17, 2013

Ye Ol' Bucket List

Hi.  Remember me? Mom-blogger, and lady who is just random?

I don't think I have blogged in a long time. Things have been rather, bat shit crazy to be honest.  Things have just been crazy.

I mean, I could spend time going over the many issues that I have been dealing with over the past month, but kids, I gots so many issues you need a subscription.

BWAAAHHHAAA (I would like to say I came up with that one on my own, but um... I didn't I actually stole it from my uncle).

Anyway, do you have a bucket list? A list of things you want to do before you die? Or before you are 40? or before you are 50? Or before you have kids?

I have a bucket list of things I want to do before I turn 50.  My bucket list is random and odd... and it doesn't have anything like, "GO TO ITALY AND TASTE WINE" or anything that cool.  My bucket list is of things I wanted to do but I:
A) didn't have the opportunity to do it.
B) didn't know where I could pull it off.
C) didn't have time to do it when the opportunity first presented itself.
D) didn't have the money to do it.
E) didn't have the gumption to get out there and do it.

So, my bucket list has stuff like,
* Take the L-SAT (done)
* Color my hair purple just because (not done, but doing it for Relay for Life this year)
* Wear an animal costume at a kid's event (DONE)

and so on.

What, you never had the desire to wear an animal costume? I mean, I don't want to be one of those sex furries or something like that- people... Is that what they are called? I maybe should look it up) SO I am now looking up "What do you call people who wear animal furry costumes for sex purposes? REALLY.... AHHH, I was right.  Furries... EWWW, anyway to each his or her own...

ME? I just wanted to wear an animal costume and bring smiles to kids....


I played the Easter Bunny for 20 minutes this weekend (to give Alex a break so she could actually eat some lunch)... and what I found is that people are rude.

YOU READ THAT RIGHT.  I don't think we as parents an REALLY appreciate the fuzzy bunny at the mall.  Listen, that costume is hotter than shit... AND you can barely see out of it.  People let their kids manhandle you (or in my instance, woman handle you)... and you have to hold crying babies that you CAN'T SEE and try not to drop them. AND THEN, if you do have a child sit on your lap, is it appropriate to wrap your arm around him/her? What if they start to fall and you grab their leg? I mean, I don't want to be seen as a bunny who gets his kicks (yes his, it was a boy bunny costume) off of grabbing kids.  And then the crying kids. I swear, I don't like it when they cry. I wanted to cry right with them.

FINALLY they came to take me back to change back to normal. AND parents are pissed off. They have waited in line... OMG, I know what that feels like, to be the waiting parent with a screaming kid, but here is the deal... if you haven't been the bunny, don't hate the bunny.  YOU don't know what it is like to be the bunny and have a 2 year old poop his diaper on your lap, have the fumes get trapped in your "bunny head" and you really can't breath... DON'T HATE the bunny.

Instead, love the bunny (but not like, err LOVE IT, I am not promoting the furry lifestyle)... but have a bit more respect.  The person playing the bunny loves kids, or he/she would not do it.  Have compassion.

I remember a song from Urinetown (great musical I was in) and there was a song entitled, "Don't Be the Bunny." I always thought it was odd. I mean, it was a musical about people wanting to pee for free.  However, after yesterday's fiasco... I agree... don't be the bunny. 

So, an item checked off my personal bucket list.  But now I think I want to be a character that doesn't have to wear a big head.  Santa??? Err, maybe boobs and no facial hair could be a hindrance there... Maybe Mrs. Claus.  Yes.  Mrs. Claus... I could pull off grey hair, glasses and rosy cheeks... (NEW ITEM ON BUCKET LIST ADDED).

Wait... Never mind... I don't want to be farted on again.  Just sayin'.....


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