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Sunday, February 24, 2013

I.HATE... I mean REALLY, RELLY HATE----

I absolutely hate cancer.


I mean, I don't know anyone who really LOVES cancer.... Most of us hate it.  I hate that this disease can take away a loved one in a matter of months... days... years...

I hate the fact that there isn't a "one cure fits all cancers" out there.  I HATE the fact that cancer metastasizes differently in everyone.... so what may work as a cure for some won't work as a cure for others.

I hate that I lost four loved ones in the past year... and more than I can count on two hands in my lifetime.  I am just ONE person.

I think pretty much everyone we know has been touched by this dreadful word... cancer... Either you have been diagnosed with it, your loved one has, your friend has, your co-worker has...  maybe you are a caregiver to someone who has heard those three horrible words... "YOU have cancer."
 I want to shout from the rooftops and tell cancer to bleep the bleep off... but I can't.  You see, it cannot hear me.  It cannot emote and express it's opinion and tell  me how it is NOT FAIR that I center my hate around it... but it can attack.  So how do I fight back?

I am just ONE person...



I am just ONE person in a town of thousands.  How can I make a difference?

I am just ONE person who lost another friend to cancer today.  When I was younger, this nice lady at church would always smile at me, and hug me.  She always asked how I was doing.  She was always there when I needed just a hug, and with no questions.  She was a greeter at my church, and even on the coldest days, she would stand outside in the Iowa winter and shake a hand, give a hug... be there for anyone who needed some unconditional love.  She was a woman who loved me when I was alone, single... a mother of an infant.  While others may have shunned me for having a child out of wedlock (and it was my second child, my son was from my first marriage), she loved me. When my children came with me to church service instead of Sunday school, she loved on them and told them how important they were. She was a natural soprano I, in which I was extremely jealous... lol,  when she sang in her high register, instead of the tone being tinny.... it was thin... strong, and powerful.  Kinda like her.  That is it, her voice was just like her; thin, strong, and powerful. She sent me notes, told me I was on the right track.. I will NEVER know how she had my address, but she did. And every few weeks, there would be a love letter in the mail to me from Mrs. R.  She made such a difference in my life... more than a difference, she made me feel like I was important in the eyes of my family, and God. Even though I know she is in a much better place... I know she is in heaven, I mourn her departure from this earth, and I know I will see her again.  I just wasn't ready to say good-by yet. And I don't know if we ever are really ready to say good-by to those we care about...

 She fought.... and she fought hard. 

So why can't I? I mean, I have two working feet, a cancer free body (thank GOD for technology and me finally wising up).... What can I do?

I am just ONE person...


Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with the fact that I am just ONE person, I forget there are a lot of ONE persons out there. People like me, with their own cancer story to share.  Whether it is one of surviving, like sweet Dawn (YOU GIRL are an inspiration), or one of caregiving.... God bless oncology nurses... my mother is one and what you do every day I cannot imagine doing.  Or maybe you, like me, have lost one too many family members... lost one too many friends... There are a lot of US out there.

I am just ONE person... with a dream of a cancer free world. 


I started walking in Relay for Life after my mother in law (my ex-husband's mother and one of the most amazing women I have ever known) was diagnosed with multiple myeloma.  I continue to walk, and raise money for American Cancer Society in her honor, my way of giving back to a woman who was taken from us too early, because of cancer.

So, I am going to turn my ONE person journey and invite others to walk with me.  You can walk in spirit, you can come out in June to walk beside me.  Help me make this ONE person--- ONE HUNDRED....

Relay started with ONE man... who ran ONE night.... for ONE cause.  Dr. Gordy Klatt...

Why can't we continue his dream? I am going to turn my anger, my sadness...into action...

I will celebrate the time I had with them and the life I have. 


I will remember with honor those whose lives were ended early because they heard three little words too late... "You have cancer."


I will fight back for those who can't. 


I will fight so that my kids will never have to know what it is like to hear those words, ever.







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