Remembering an Amazing Woman

Today marks the second anniversary of my grandmother’s death.  Known by many in her church congregation as “Grandma Love”, my grandma came by that name humbly, with a giving heart.

My life is forever blessed because of her, and many of the lessons I learned in life were from her. She always had a way of making me look outside myself and she always showed me how to put things in prospective. She is someone I strive to be…

I remember my mom telling about her childhood.  My grandfather worked at the Stockyards in Sioux City, my grandma was a stay at home mom.  Not only was she a mother to my mom and her three siblings, but my grandmother also was a mother to many foster children in the Sioux City area. My grandma had a compassion and love for children that really is beyond measure. At one time, my mom remembers having 19 children in the house.  My mom would get up early in the morning with my grandma and they would make a hot breakfast for everyone before school, because my grandma believed in sending the kids to school with a good breakfast in their belly.  Can you imagine how many dozens of eggs they went through every week? WOW. 

My grandma adopted two of her foster children and had over 150 foster children in her home (she didn’t count for a while in the beginning, so I am sure there are a lot more than that, LOL).

My grandmother also gave her time to the children of her church. She made sure that every child who came to Sunday school got a hug. And I wonder, how many of those kids who were bussed into church never were hugged except on Sundays by my grandmother… I just can’t imagine.

I have encountered adults today who knew my grandma, and the stories I hear about how she impacted their lives is rather amazing. I had a young man tell me that grandma love told him every Sunday he was smart and he could go to college and do great things… She was the only one who believed in him and told him that. I sit here and type this, I get misty because today he is my friend, he is a teacher, and without her encouragement, he may never have gone to college.

When my grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, I was devastated.  My grandma of sharp mind, who kicked my but at super Mario EVERY time I was at her house, and who always challenged me to be better, was struck with this evil disease. After a while, we had to put her in a nursing home. I made a promise to her I would see her every week, and I kept that promise.   As her Alzheimer’s progressed, she stopped talking about current events, but she talked about the past… she was always working. In her mind she was working.  When I found out I was pregnant with Madelynn, I told her and she was happy.  When we found out a girl, I told her I named her Madelynn Faith… My grandmother’s first name is Faith and I wanted my grandma to know that she was so important to me that I named my daughter after her. And my grandma’s response, “Oh, I like that name. I like that name a lot.”  And when I left the hospital with my Maddy--- our first stop? To see grandma great (she never wanted to be called “great grandma” because it made her sound old, so her great grandkids called her grandma great, LOL).

We knew when she was getting ready to transition to heaven when she would sit there and talk nonsense… and then all of a sudden talk as clear as day about packing up her room.  Regardless of how conscious she was at the end, she would always sing with me.  I would go see her and we would sing songs from church. Her favorite:

“Our God is an awesome God --- He reins from Heaven above, with wisdom, power and love our God is an awesome God.”

She and I would sing that and “Amazing Grace” and she would sing it clear and loud. As if the disease were not even there. But then after the song was over, she would go back into her Alzheimer’s state.

Two years ago, on this day I was with her after the nurse called my mom and said it was time. My grandma’s feet were turning purple (losing oxygen) and she would make her transition soon to heaven. Instead of having my mom go alone, I went with her so we could be there for my grandma, the woman who was there for me every day of my life (and even when I was naughty). And we sang. I told my grandma that we were all going to be ok. I asked her if she could see where she was going. She nodded. And we sang… Our God is awesome God….and she passed away. It was a sad moment for me and a beautiful moment to witness in the same aspect. You could feel her spirit leave her body. I cried for myself, because I wanted to keep her here with me longer, but rejoiced for her; because she was no longer in pain… and when she went up--- she knew how much she was loved.

Today I honor Faith Orleen Beaubien.  The best grandmother in the world, and the greatest friend.  I now she watches over me every day… I wish everyone had a guardian angel like mine. Have an amazing day and count every blessing.

Temper Tantrum Time

Well. I would personally love to throw myself on the floor and pound my fists in the ground while screaming, wouldn’t you? I mean, haven’t you ever had one of “those days” where it feels like the whole world is against you? I know I have. Today has been one of them.  Work was crazy busy, and then I got a call from the payment center for the hospital demanding money from me and I NEVER received a bill.  Long story short, they had the wrong address on the mail they sent out. BUT before they figured that out, I pretty much felt like user and loser. I almost, ALMOST went postal on the poor person from the payment center.  That got resolved, and then I had to go to the doctor, where I waited for ONE HOUR AND FIFTEEN MINUTES just to be seen for five minutes and sent on my way. THEN, I got stuck in traffic, the checker at the Wal-Mart was slow… and here is something… I am a bit OCD. I bring my own shopping bags to do my “food shopping”, AND I arrange my groceries on the belt based on how I want them bagged. DON’T MESS WITH MY SYSTEM. And yup… she did. God bless her, but NOT TODAY. Don’t mess with my cold items. Don’t you be putting the pizza rolls next to the box of cereal; it is 90 degrees outside for cry eye. What if the pizza rolls melt and the watery mess on the outside of the bag gets my cereal box wet? I MEAN COME ON.

So I write this and laugh. I would love to have a good melt down right now. Sit there and get all pissy, cry, rage in a tantrum but I won’t. I mean, how many adults do you see have a full blown temper tantrum? (WAIT… don’t answer that, I have seen that before. I have been on the receiving end of an adult temper tantrum)

Anyway, I am trying to figure out where my three year old got the idea in her head that temper tantrums ROCK.  When you are having a baby people always warn you about the terrible twos. Heck, the twos were NOTHING in this house… PIECE O’ CAKE!  What has been challenging… the beginning of the temper tantrum threes.

Maddy is a wonderful child. She is smart, funny, and she will sing to anything. She is adorable… Just look at this face!

 BUT she has a temper. Man, does that girl have a temper.  Last night we battled that temper (or should I say this morning) for two hours. Maddy woke up and first wanted to eat (this was at 3 AM, mind you). Then she wanted a drink. Then she wanted to watch TV.  After saying NO to TV, she finally went to bed.  Five minutes later, she wanted to watch TV again, and snuggle with mommy in mommy’s bed. I said no, that we all needed to sleep and there it happened. The ugly temper roared out of my daughter. She screamed and got stuck on wanting to snuggle in mommy’s bed. I said no, that we all needed to sleep and she just kept raging. AND IT KILLED ME to see her so upset. However, in these situations, we have to learn how to solve it and help the toddler NOT repeat the same behavior.  I am NOT an advocate of rewarding bad behavior (If you just stop screaming, Maddy I will let you snuggle in my bed…UM NO). Instead, I had to try to calm her down and win. 

Now, how do you win with a toddler? I have no idea if this is the right way, but here is what I do… I don’t give in to her temper tantrums. It is easy to give in… man is it easy , especially when you are drained and tired, but you just can’t.  You have to win. Time ins (I do this when she is so angry that I hold her and tell her it’s all going to be ok) instead of time outs…  I tell her she will be fine, and I am firm.  I take away some of her toys and tell her that when she calms down she can have them back.  And I wait it out. Most importantly I wait and wait for her to cave before I do. It took two hours last night, but the tantrum stopped and she calmed down, she went back to bed knowing she is loved. I wonder how many times we will have to do this in the coming year.  Regardless, I wouldn’t change it for the world.  I love my sweet Maddy more than she will ever know… even at 4 am during a temper tantrum. I hold her, tell her I love her and stick to my guns. 

Lessons Learned

Never once will you ever hear me say that I am perfect. Personally, I am a flawed human being with a ton of flaws, and man I make mistakes… I try not to make those mistakes again, but I cannot promise I won’t make them again.  The past month has been an emotional one for me. Maybe it is the pregnancy hormones (random aside: this baby is definitely different than my others… my others I never had morning sickness and with this one I am sick all of the time), maybe it is me reflecting on the past couple of months, maybe it is just everything is annoying me. LOL I don’t know… but I have learned several things.



Lessons I learned in the past month:

1)      I expect a lot out of myself and others. Right now I feel as if I am in a trial of integrity. Not with myself, but with some “friends.” I have learned that regardless of their personal actions (if they want to lie and put that out there in the world, it will come back upon them), I have to hold my standards higher – I strive to be truthful and have integrity.  What really bothers me (for those of you who know my religious beliefs and my undying faith in God) is that some of the people who are in this “trial” are my friends in Christ. Aren’t we as Christians supposed to have a high level of honesty? EVEN when it doesn’t always benefit us?

2)      I cannot do everything. I work from home, so I put extra pressure on myself to try and do everything because I work from home. (everything like, clean the house, do dishes, make dinner, do laundry, etc--- WHILE TRYING TO WORK!)  Matter of fact, I freaked out on my husband a few weeks ago, because he was cleaning while I worked and I told him to wait and I could help. His response (and I LOVE THIS MAN for stuff like this) --- I am home during the summer, you are working… I can clean and do things because YOU ARE WORKING.  He is right. I have to know my own limitations.  We all have them, and as moms we tend to think we are superhuman, err… we are not. We are human and we can ask for help.

3)      No one can read my mind. I know shocker right? But as I laugh and write this, how should I expect someone to do something for me (like get me chicken because I want it) if they don’t know. Last time I checked, we were not mind readers, but most of us respond well when asked a question, like… “Honey, I really would like some fried chicken. Can we get some?” So, I have to thoughtfully share my thoughts. If there is something on my mind… say it.

4)      Not all friends are “friends.” That one is hard for me, because I would give the shirt off my back for a friend if they needed it.  I have realized over the past few months that not all friends would return the favor for me. I am a nice person, I don’t like to hurt anyone, however in the next month or so I am going to be doing some housekeeping. We all deserve (myself included) to have people in our lives that would reciprocate the friendship and not just expect us to be there for them when they need us. Can I get an AMEN? You know you are sitting there reading this and you are agreeing with me. You too have “friends” such as this. I say CLEAN THEM OUTTA YO LIFE. (Easier said than done? I am about to find out)

5)      The true friends in your life need to be reminded of how important they are. We don’t thank each other enough for just being there. We thank each other for gifts, and for special occasions, but we don’t spend enough time saying, “Hey I appreciate you. Your friendship is so important to me.” I have friends that I have met in the past few months that I appreciate so much, along with friends I have had forever. You know who you are…

6)      My children, my family are my priority. How many times have we put work before our family? We work to make sure our family has what they want, what they need. Lesson learned - my family?? --- They just want my time. They don’t care if they get more than the Jones, they want time spent with them and that the time I spend with them is quality. They don’t need or want a fancy car or fancy vacations… they want time with me at the pool.  You cannot take back those moments. When the work day is done, it is done. My family takes priority.  That means that they take priority even over my damn cell phone. How many of you have a more intimate relationship with your damn cell phone versus your kids? Think about it? How many of you check that phone all the time? You check it first thing in the morning, and you check it before you go to bed, if you can’t find it you freak out. Maybe we need to leave the phone and treat our spouses, our kids the same way. Keep them by our side, check in with them all the time, and tell them how precious they are to us, freak out if we drop them in the toilet (bwahhaa)… I am just calling myself out here.  Tell your kids how proud you are of them, and try not to freak out of the small stuff (I say this again because I freaked out on Alex over something VERY trivial, after she was the most amazing as a big sister, daughter, cousin, and person for a very long trip… she absolutely amazes me, and I freaked out over something so small, WHY?).  I have to remember to not sweat the small stuff and to be there for them. Be an “in the moment” parent.

7)      My husband will be my best friend forever… it is ok for me to talk to him about anything. Sometimes I forget that he is not my ex. For those of you who have been married before, you know what I am talking about here.  When we tend to get upset, we sometimes put our ex and our spouse in the same bucket. AND here is the thing, my husband? He would NEVER be like my ex, even on his worst day.  He loves me and for every part of me. I have to remember that. He will be by my side and support me, he will get upset when I am hurt by others, and he will help my family out as if it were his own. He is and always will be the man chosen for me by God. I have to have faith in that, and NOT even compare him to my ex. (why do we do that? Especially in arguments? WHY?) He would never hurt me, he will always be there for me and talk with me about everything (even at midnight in the car about the politics and religion in Iowa surrounding Gay marriage rights--- don’t even get me started--- he will listen and let me rant and talk with me about it)… So why, do I shut down on him sometimes? I have to stop doing that… He is the love of my life.

8)      Happiness in life is created. YOU make your own happiness and no one else can make you happy. If you are not happy, change… See this is CHANGE something within yourself, not those around you.  Happiness is an individual thing and an individual creates his own happiness. Don’t blame others because you are not happy. Do something to change your life; you only have one chance at this life, run with it. I am so happy because of who I surround myself with. Positive, uplifting, funny people who are genuine. I made the decision to make happy happen. J So make happy happen, don’t wait for it to appear is if from nowhere.

9)      I love coffee. I will drink a cup of coffee (fully caffeinated, oh for shame) every day while I am pregnant. WHY? Lesson learned? If I don’t drink coffee I am a snappy-ass-bitch. No one wants to be around someone like that or be that person. So, there you have it. I am a coffee drinker and I still will have my caffeine coffee cup everyday while pregnant. (I won’t have 5, but I still want 1---LOL)

10)  Have the capacity to forgive others. Not that you have to forget, but try to forgive. Living with un-forgiveness is the hardest thing, it can make you bitter.  I can hear the words my grandma said in my head, “God forgave everyone; he gave his only son for us. If you cannot forgive are you saying you are better than God?” Well, NO. I am so not better than God, so I better learn how to forgive.  Which brings be back to point one above… I have to forgive those who don’t have the integrity I expect, but I don’t have to forget, nor do I have to put myself in their path.  And here is the thing, I have to forgive myself for the things I have done wrong in the past. I don’t have to forget them (because by not forgetting we don’t repeat that mistake) but I can forgive myself.  Does that even make sense? Maybe I am tired. LOL

So, that be a lot of lessons learned, yo. (trying to lighten it up here!) Some great lessons, in just a month. Maybe this baby in muh belly is making me more introspective… maybe it is making me more snarky, maybe it is making me more truthful about how I feel… regardless, I embrace it and the months to come.

June is National Candy Month, WHAT????

So, I was just surfing Facebook (I know you are shocked... Facebook and not Pinterest? WHAT??? LOL) and I saw my friend Kai posted abou the month of June. Did you know that June is National Candy Month? It sure is.

How to celebrate? Well first, my kids, nephews and I made a candy card for Phillip for Father's day. We did this without even knowing it is National Candy Month. I must be pyschic (or an addict to Pinterest, you decide...hahaha).

Since there are only 12 days left in the month... here is how I plan to celebrate National Candy Month...

Day 1: take a box of candy to my next door neighbor with meaning... so, I think I am going to take her a king sized snickers. And when I send it to her, I will say... "I dare you to eat this in 10 minutes, but I won't SNICKER!" How cheesy but fun? (this is the neighbor whose husband is a total douche. He is just mean, so to do something silly like this with his wife would be a bonus, because she is amazing and silly)

Day 2:  make chocolate covered bacon.  I love bacon. I love chocolate. They sell chocolate covered bacon on a stick at the Iowa State Fair... why can't I make it...

Day 3: make jelly bean pancakes for breakfast. I am going to add the jelly beans to pancake mix and serve them to my kiddos! I will have to tell you how they turn out. :)

Day 4: send lollypops with my son to the last day of cubscout camp to share with his pack (but the carmel apple ones.. haha)

Day 5: blog about the TWINBING... (your curiousity is peaked... I know it is... it is a delicious little candy made in my hometown) 

Day 6: go to an international grocery store and pick two candies to try with the kids. (like the mango candies I had when I was a kid...num num)

Day 7: make some white chocolate covered strawberries for the young lady in this house who only likes white chocolate!

Day 8: go to Orange Leaf (our local FroYo place) and get more candy on top than yogurt on bottom!!

Day 9: Celebrate Haloween in June. HAHA, dress up, and hand out candy!

Day 10: make a pinata with the kids to fill later...

Day 11: Write my facebook status using different candies (like, Hi there! Did you know this is the end of national candy month? I know you "SNICKERS" as I write this or your "BUTTERFINGERS" can't write this down fast enough. But NOW OR LATER you have your PAYDAY or you will win 100GRAND, but get your SKITTLES now.... HAHA, something like that!


Day 12: Stuff the pinata and BREAK IT!  Celebrate candy month in style by having a BBQ candy bash!!!

Happy National Candy Month!!!! OK.  This idea is so crazy. Who is up for the challenge? :)



Understanding

I guess I am a person who always tries to understand, who treats others with respect, even if I have issue with them.  I am finding out how difficult it is to raise someone who has been taught differently.  My stepdaughter's mother is someone who just doesn't use kindness upon anyone unless she needs something.  When she speaks to people on the phone or in person she uses the F bomb like its the word "the".  She treats others without any form of respect, yet she demands it. She is rude, vengful, irresponsible, and she really only cares about NUMBER ONE--- herself. She is a selfish woman.

She is a grown up, her mama didn't do a good job raising her, and I can't fix it.  I can though show her how adults are supposed to act. I can show her through my actions and my words, and it will not affect her. But I at least hope her daughers (my stepdaughters) would see through my actions what adults are supposed to be like. How adults are supposed treat others and their children. But this has not been the case.

I sit here with a completely broken heart. I know kids can say things out of hurt when they are sad, I get it. But last night it was the straw that broke THIS camel's back.
When I married my husband, I gained teenage girls. I have NEVER been a mom to a teenage girl, mind you have I have BEEN a teenage girl myself. LOL But, also coming into this marriage with baggage from my own stepmother (don't even get me started), I wanted to show them all the time that I love them. I still want to uncoditionally show them daily.  But what do you do when you hear your 15 year old step-daughter talking with her mother while packing a bag about how much she has hated living here for a long time. About how she doesn't like me. About how mean I am to her, when all I have done is provide for her, love her (showing her and telling her), do special things with her... and her mother? She does NOTHING. Her biological mother lives with her parents, she had a baby last November after trying to "trap a man" (AGAIN this would be the 4th time) with a baby. She has a job NOW, but didn't have one for a long time. She would say the "state paid" her to have the baby. WHO DOES THAT? She even sat in my kitchen last week and begged, cried and lied to me to get money. How much you ask? $300 to $800. 

So after hearing my step daughter talk with so much venom about me, and I have done nothing but show her love...My heart didn't just break... It cracked wide open. I had an anxiety attack.

I know she is lashing out because she didn't want to go to the doctor today, but last night's anger attack went a little too far.  When do you approach a child and let them know their bully behavior is abusive? When she doesn't get what she wants, she attacks and attacks hard. She knows her words hurt, and yet she still chooses to use them.  She verbally attacked me last night just to hurt me.  She hurt me so bad, I couldn't breath.

When is it enough? When do you keep fighting to have a relationship? When do you just give up? I am really looking for some help here because I am ready to give up? Her mother and I are like night and day... oil and vinegar when it comes to raising kids and when it comes to being a member of society.

365 x 6

So, again it has been forever since I have blogged. Summer vacation has started so the kids are home, and it has been crazy. We went to see my mama over the weekend and my sister and nephews have been visiting. So, it has been an excellent adventure for summer 2012.
 
I feel like I am pulled to write about abuse.  For those of you who have been following my blog, you know I am a victim of abuse, and as a survivor of this vicious cycle, I want to write about what I know.

There several types of abuse: physical, neglect, emotional, verbal, sexual, physical neglect, exploitation, and medical neglect. Physical, emotional, and verbal abuse are the most predominant. 

I personally am a victim of all three of the most common; I feel the abuse was used by him as a way to control me. Physical abuse is visual… a smack, pinch, shove and one of the worst--- pulling hair.  I cannot tell you how many walls I was thrown into, or how hard a wood floor feels as your head is being pounded into it… but losing my hair from abuse was the worst.  (oh and he said it wasn’t abuse because he didn’t “HIT ME”) Anyway, I had to cut my hair and I lost part of who I was at that time.

I think emotional and verbal abuse is worse.  I can grow my hair back… but I cannot take away the words someone said to me or the way he manipulated me to comply with his request. When I would get upset with my ex-husband (my abuser), he would threaten me. He would accuse me of cheating, he would threaten to take my son from me, twist my words, rage at me and call me some of the most horrible names.  He would do this to get me to respond. If I didn’t--- he would just keep going.  Pretty soon, I never caved. That pissed him off even worse. Then I left.  I told him I wasn’t coming back and when he realized I wasn’t coming back… he told me he would change, he begged… then when I wouldn’t agree, the anger demon would rear its head and he would start raging again. Then he would calm down and try to rationalize his behavior (as if banging someone’s head or hitting them with a shoe can be justified by any words).  He kept me from my family and friends, which was harder than anything… I had NO ONE to run to.

When I finally realized what he was doing was wrong, I was ready to get out and get out fast. I had the economic means (I secretly saved money) and a job and a car. I could do it. I had to be stronger than the threats.  And I got out and stayed out.  When I went to the abused women’s center, I was in a group counseling session and I looked around… most women were not as fortunate as me. Matter of fact, most women went back to their abusers because they had no other means to get out. Nowhere to go but back to the abuse.
 
That is the hardest thing for me to comprehend.  Abusers don’t change. They get better at the game. So, don’t fall for their lies.  That is how I feel. I fell for the lies for four years before I realized he would never change.
 
If you or anyone you know is a victim of abuse, reach out to them have them reach out to and advocacy agency in your area to get the support they need.  Help them turn their life from being one of a victim to one of a survivor. Help them (or yourself) change the story.

 Adults who treat children as inferior (or take out their hatred on a child for issues the adult has for the parent of the child) is abusive. I know a grandma who is mean to her granddaughter. WHY? Because she is mad at the granddaughter’s father for what? I don’t know. But she has even gone to the extent of smacking the girl over something the girl didn’t even do YET (concerned about the teen that she is too boy crazy… but instead of talking to her about it, she smacked her and said she would disown her if she got pregnant. WHAT IS THAT?).  Then the grandma wonders why the granddaughter doesn’t want to visit.  Plain and simple: GRANDMA, YOU ARE A BULLY AND AN ABUSER.  I call them like I see them.

 I am talking about abuse, because over the past two weeks I have come to discover a child I love with every part of my being has been abused by someone he trusted and loved… someone he called dad. Someone who was supposed to protect him and love him.  This child has a false sense of love and what a dad is supposed to be. BUT with the help of God, family, friends, and a great role model in his uncle and other men in his life… he will be a great father and man.  The cycle will be broken.My heart breaks for him as he tells me what happened.  He was hit with a slipper (Err, shoe people… a slip on sneaker) and was in terror, but he was emotionally abused as well.  Left behind at home in his room for hours while the man went to do other things (the child is in grade school), always made to feel inferior to the other child in the man’s life. Never quite feeling like he would ever be loved by that man as much as the other child or mean as much.  He felt invisible.

 Children FYI do not plan on being in this world, they are a blessing and we, as adults, have the honor of raising them.  We set the bar for their lives, their successes.  So why would any adult ever tell a child or treat a child inferior to others in the same house? I just don’t understand.  I have my step daughters and I treat them as if they are my own. THEY are my blessings. They were my special gift when I married my husband and by golly I take my job as their step-mom seriously. I try to impart wisdom on them, do special things with them to let them know by my actions they are important to me and how much I love them.  NEVER would I make them feel anything less than special.

So why title this 365 x 6? Because the child I love who has recently talked about his abuse opened up to Phillip and I. While in the car with Phillip (a school teacher) a few days ago he asked, what is 365 x 6.  So Phillip went into teacher mode and diligently worked to help the child solve the problem. The answer is 2,190.  Then Phillip asked the boy why… the boy replied… that is how many days of my life my “dad” has been mean to me. As I write this I cry. That is a lot of days considering the child has only been alive for a little less than 3650 days. Most of his life he has been abused and his abuse was under the radar, because his abuser would abuse the child when his mom wasn't there.

 If you or someone you know is a victim of abuse… FIGHT BACK. Break the cycle. Change a life.

 Here is a pie chart I use to determine if abusive behavior is being used. If you or someone you love can say… that’s me… call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at: 1−800−799−SAFE(7233).

Relay for Life- Linn County

This weekend proved to be very rewarding, emotional, fun, sad, tiring, uplifting, and well... amazing.

Alex and I are on the committee for the Linn County Relay for Life --- this was our first year EVAH being on the committee. It was one of the most amazing things of my whole life.

I am honored to have met so many survivors and talk with many people about why they Relay.

Sometimes all I was able to do was to squeeze a hand or give a hug because any words I would say would not be sufficient for what the relayers are going through or what they have been through.

During the relay process I was put into contact with an amazing woman... our photographer canceled and we needed a replacement... Thanks to Jennifer I was connected with Ms T. When Ms. T showed up I had to give her a hug and thank her for volunteering her time and taking pictures of Relay. She hadn't been before but she was so enthusiastic and so warm. From the moment I met her I got this vibe of kindness. As she was taking pictures of the opening ceremony and of the survivors taking the first lap, I saw her get tears in her eyes. I went over, and gave her a hug. Relay is a time of rejoicing and a time to honor. She informed me her father in law just was diagnosed with liver cancer. (by just in the last week). I told her there was a reason for her to be here. To celebrate. Remember. Fight back. She knew she was called for a reason to be at Relay for Life, and it wasn’t just my doing. She volunteered her free time with a thankful heart.

At the end of Relay, as we watched the survivors do their final lap, she and I cried and hugged. Both being a loved one of someone who had to battle this evil disease which is genderless, ageless, race-less... And now, sadly... both who have had a loved one pass away from such an evil disease. Her father in law passed away. My heart is full of thankfulness to her and I am overwhelmed at how strong she is and what a blessing she is to me without even knowing it. I pray her family finds strength through this and I just ask each and every one of you to send your thoughts, prayers, and love her way.

I never know who I will meet at relay and how my life will forever be changed based on this one night... for one cause.

I am so thankful for my friends and family who came out to Relay... my wonderful and amazing husband, Phillip, Serina, Alex, Kennith and Maddy!!!  Char, Mark and the kids... Lu-Lu and the kids, Sarah and the boys....  Your support is amazing! thank you! Thank you to Gloria for being an amazing leader and to everyone I worked with on the comittee!!!

AND thank you to those of you who personally donated to our DahFeet team--- Alex (mad skills daughter, mad skills at raising money), Merry, Paul, Mark & Char, Sarah, Lu!!! and the list goes on!

I am so humbled and blessed to be a part of such an amazing organization (American Cancer Society) and such an amazing event!